Top 11 Things Google Plans to Do with Their IPO Money
March 8, 2008 – 3:14 PM
||From this day forward, always get extra cheese on the pizza.
||Hire staff to create Google in more silly languages like Klingon and French.
||Hire hitmen to take care of all the bloggers involved in Google bombing.
||Spend every last dime on keeping “Friends” on the air for one more season.
||Buy t-shirts for everybody saying, “My company had an IPO and all I got were these lousy stock options worth $30,000,000.”
||Quit while they’re ahead.
||Use the really nice china, they save for when company comes over, every day.
||You can’t put a price on the profound good to mankind that is achieved by pissing off Bill Gates.
||Pay marketing company 1.2 billion for 10 new words that rhyme with Google.
||Stop using Froogle to buy their toner cartridges.
||Prove once and for all that money really can buy happiness.